Mental Health in Youth: How to Detect the Signs of Struggle

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In the whirlwind of growing up (with school pressures, social media and the general chaos of adolescence), it can be challenging for parents to distinguish between typical childhood behaviour and warning signs of mental health concerns. As many as one in seven Australian children and adolescents aged 4-17 experience a mental health condition in any given year, according to the Australian Institute of Health and Welfare. Yet, many don’t receive the help they need.

Why? Often because the signs go unrecognised.

As parents, we’re quick to notice physical symptoms—a fever, a rash, a cough—but emotional and behavioural changes can be trickier to identify, especially when they develop gradually. 

This article aims to help you recognise the warning signs of mental health struggles in children and teenagers, understand when to seek help and learn how to approach these sensitive conversations with your child.

Differentiating Normal vs. Concerning Behaviour

Children and teenagers naturally experience mood swings, periods of withdrawal and behavioural changes as part of normal development. So, how do you know when these changes signal something more serious?

The key differences lie in:

• Duration: Temporary reactions to stressful situations are normal. However, persistent changes lasting weeks or months warrant attention.
• Intensity: All children feel sad or anxious sometimes, but when these feelings become overwhelming or debilitating, it’s cause for concern.
• Impact: Is your child’s behaviour affecting their schoolwork, friendships, family relationships or daily functioning?
• Context: Behaviour that seems inappropriate for the situation or drastically different from your child’s usual demeanour deserves closer attention.

Warning Signs in Young Children (Ages 3-12)

Young children often lack the vocabulary to express complex emotions. Instead, they might show these signs:

Emotional Signs

Watch for frequent tantrums that seem excessive for your child’s age or excessive worrying that seems disproportionate to situations. Intense irritability, anger or persistent sadness lasting more than two weeks can be concerning. Frequent nightmares, sleep disturbances or new or worsening separation anxiety might also indicate emotional struggles.

Behavioural Signs

Children might regress to earlier behaviours like bedwetting after being toilet-trained or using baby talk. They may frequently complain about physical symptoms without medical cause, such as headaches or stomachaches. Watch for declining school performance, sudden resistance to attending school or difficulty concentrating on tasks. Some children show hyperactivity or have trouble sitting still in ways that interfere with daily activities. Loss of interest in previously enjoyed activities or the display of aggressive behaviour and frequent fighting are also potential warning signs.

Social Signs

Social changes can be particularly telling. Your child might withdraw from friends and family, avoid social interaction or have difficulty making or keeping friends. Unusual or dramatic changes in social behaviour often warrant closer attention.

Warning Signs in Teenagers (Ages 13-18)

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Adolescence brings its own set of challenges. Here are signs that might indicate mental health concerns in teenagers:

Emotional Signs

• Excessive moodiness that persists for weeks
• Feeling excessively sad, hopeless or empty
• Overwhelming fears or worries
• Extreme sensitivity to criticism or rejection
• Difficulty managing emotions
• Expressing feelings of worthlessness or guilt
• Talking about death or suicide

Behavioural Signs

• Dramatic changes in eating or sleeping habits
• Significant weight loss or gain
• Neglecting personal hygiene or appearance
• Self-harming behaviours (cutting, burning)
• Risk-taking behaviours (dangerous driving, substance use)
• Declining academic performance
• Skipping school or declining attendance
• Withdrawal from activities previously enjoyed
• Excessive use of screens or social media as an escape

Social Signs

• Withdrawing from friends and family
• Dramatic changes in friend groups
• Avoiding social situations
• Expressing paranoid thoughts about others
• Unusual or bizarre behaviour

Risk Factors

Some circumstances increase the likelihood of mental health challenges. Be particularly attentive if your child has a family history of mental health disorders or has experienced trauma or stressful life events like divorce, death, moving or changing schools. Children who face bullying or peer rejection, struggle with learning difficulties or academic challenges or manage chronic physical health conditions may be more vulnerable. A history of abuse or neglect or recent significant changes in your child’s life can also increase risk factors.

However, it’s important to remember that mental health conditions can affect any child, even without obvious risk factors.

Starting the Conversation

If you’ve noticed concerning signs, how do you approach the topic with your child?

Start by choosing the right moment. Find a relaxed, private time when your child seems receptive to talking. Use open-ended questions instead of direct ones; rather than asking, “Are you depressed?” try, “I’ve noticed you seem quieter lately. How are you feeling?” When they respond, listen more than you speak, giving your child space to express themselves without interruption or judgment.

Validate their feelings by acknowledging their emotions. Saying “I understand why that would be upsetting” can be more helpful than dismissive phrases like “Don’t worry about it” or “You’ll get over it.” Stay calm even if your child shares difficult feelings or experiences, as responding with shock or anger might shut down communication.

Focus on offering support rather than jumping to solutions. Instead of immediately trying to fix the problem, ask, “How can I support you?” or “What would help you feel better?” Finally, be honest about the next steps if you think professional help is needed. Explain this clearly: “I think it might help to talk to someone who understands what you’re going through.”

When and How to Seek Help

If you’ve noticed persistent warning signs, don’t wait to see if they go away on their own. Early intervention makes a significant difference in treatment outcomes.

Start with your family GP, who can assess your child’s symptoms and refer you to appropriate mental health professionals if needed. In Australia, GPs can create Mental Health Treatment Plans that provide Medicare rebates for psychology services.

For more specialised support, consider professionals with specific training in child and adolescent mental health. Clinicians with a Master of Child and Adolescent Mental Health degree are specifically trained to understand the unique developmental considerations and treatment approaches for young people experiencing mental health challenges. These specialists can provide comprehensive assessment, diagnosis and evidence-based interventions tailored to your child’s specific needs.

However, some situations require immediate professional intervention. Seek emergency help if your child:

• Talks about wanting to die or kill themselves
• Has a specific plan for suicide
• Engages in dangerous, life-threatening behaviour
• Experiences hallucinations or delusions
• Becomes violent or threatens to harm others

In Australia, you can call:

• Lifeline: 13 11 14
• Kids Helpline: 1800 55 1800
• Or visit your nearest hospital emergency department

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Spotting mental health struggles in your child isn’t easy. It’s scary. It’s confusing. Sometimes, it breaks your heart a little. But you know what? Your gut feeling that something’s not right matters. That parental instinct is powerful.

You’re not alone in this. So many families go through these struggles. Mental health issues aren’t anyone’s fault – not yours, not your child’s. They’re just part of being human, like catching a cold or breaking a bone. And just like those physical problems, they can be treated.