Infidelity in a Relationship: Signs and Consequences

According to a recent study, Americans cheat more than other nationalities, with around 71% of those surveyed admitting to adultery.

Infidelity doesn’t just signal a sexual relationship. It can involve an illicit emotional affair taking place even in cyberspace. “Cheating is always a choice. Those who claim it was “an accident” or offer any other reason are full of it,” says relationship expert Charles J. Orlando.

Whatever the reasons for infidelity, the outcome is usually the same. Being cheated by a romantic partner is a traumatic experience, the effects of which may potentially last for years.

If your partner’s phone is constantly buzzing or they spend an unusual amount of time away from home, it is time to take note. In this article, we take a look at common red flags of adultery and its consequences.

Identifying Infidelity

Cheating partners often display sudden changes in behaviors. Here are the top red flags that may suggest yours is two-timing you.

Emotional Distancing

Those having an affair behind their partner’s back usually become distant, withdrawn, and cold. They could suddenly go quiet, communicate less, and become disinterested in things they used to do as a couple.

For example, they may no longer be keen on date nights or try to avoid family gatherings. Ignoring chores around the house is common, too.

You might also notice a significant decline in intimacy, affection, and sex drive. When prompted, your partner may give excuses, like being tired, stressed, or not feeling well. But it could be a sign they are getting those needs met elsewhere.

Changes in the Daily Routine

When you are living with someone, you become familiar with their regular routine. Of course, a person could deviate from their daily practices from time to time based on circumstances. But dramatic changes can be a sign of infidelity.

For example, is your spouse working late regularly now? Are they leaving home early? Do they claim to work on weekends as well? Do they travel all the time for work? Is he or she scheduling frequent meetings in the evenings? Are they going out with friends very often? All these could be excuses for spending time with someone special that they are trying to hide from you.

Sudden Concern About Appearance

Many people take a renewed interest in their appearance at the beginning of a romantic relationship.

But when a person already in a committed relationship starts to pay extra attention to how they look, it might be an indication that they are having an affair.

So, has your partner suddenly changed how they dress? Are they buying lots of new clothes? Do they spend more time in front of the mirror? Are they going to the gym more frequently? Be cautious if you notice these signs.

Undue Secrecy

When a person is hiding something they don’t want others to know, they become edgy, anxious, and agitated. They are constantly worried and will do everything possible to avoid being found out.

So, if your partner is cheating on you, they might hide their phone to prevent you from seeing its content or keep a second phone to contact the person they are two-timing with.

And when you ask where they were or who they were with, they could lie, avoid giving a direct answer, get defensive and lash out, or gaslight you.

Unexplained Expenses

Did you find any unusual receipts in the trash? Have you noticed unexplained items on bank statements? Or is your partner using a second credit card you were unaware of?

Extra expenses are a common sign of infidelity, especially when they are for dinners, flowers, hotels, and gifts. Most people cheating on their spouses would try to hide them by concealing or disposing of the receipts and using a different credit card for illicit expenses.

In some cases, this could result in financial trouble as well.

Consequences of Cheating: The Unpleasant Reality

Betrayal could damage trust in any relationship. Infidelity, in particular, can cause severe emotional distress to the wronged partner, triggering feelings of anger, self-doubt, anxiety, depression, and even suicidal ideation.

It could also affect physical health with sleep deprivation, high blood pressure, diabetes, indigestion, and the like.

The trauma can extend to other family members, too, especially kids. Children often struggle to understand and process a breakup, experiencing guilt, despair, and similar emotions they might find difficult to deal with on their own.

And the residual impact of adultery can last for years. For example, a person could develop trust issues in future relationships, too, once they were cheated on by a previous partner.

Then, there are other implications of infidelity most people don’t realize.

Cheating could upend family relationships and cause major disruptions to regular life. When it ends up with divorce, there could be a significant financial impact as well for both parties, when you consider legal fees, moving expenses, and similar costs.

Final Thoughts

Adultery is nothing new. And its impact remains as painful and devastating as it has ever been.

If you suspect your partner is cheating on you, there are several signs you must watch out for. Sudden and noticeable emotional distancing, changes in their daily routine, a renewed concern about their appearance, unexplained secrecy, and unusual expenses are the top red flags that could give away a cheating partner.

But keep in mind that these signs alone don’t always signal infidelity. Sometimes, they could be the result of other issues. Your partner may, for instance, distance themselves because of severe work pressure or a fallout in your relationship. Or, you could be getting suspicious due to your own insecurities.

So, a little bit of soul-searching and reflection is necessary before you jump the gun. If you still suspect adultery and if your partner has a history of cheating, it is best to do some digging to confirm your suspicions.

And once you are certain your spouse is cheating on you, it is important to confront them. But avoid being confrontational. Instead, remain objective and listen to their side of the story.

Consider whether you are willing to forgive and, if so, what changes are required in your relationship. However, if your partner gets defensive, gaslights you, or seems unwilling to work things out, a breakup could be inevitable, no matter how painful.

Whatever the outcome, remember to prioritize your mental and physical well-being and seek support from your loved ones.