What To Do When The Usual Advice Isn’t Working
Have you ever noticed how often advice gets repeated online? No matter what problem someone is dealing with, you’ll usually come across the same suggestions fairly quickly, including things like get more sleep, exercise more, drink more water, think positively, take a break, reduce stress, practice mindfulness…
The thing is that none of those suggestions are necessarily bad because a lot of them can genuinely help, and that’s probably why they get repeated so often in the first place, but the problem comes when you’ve already tried some of those things and you’re still struggling because after a while it can start to feel as though you’re missing something everyone else seems to understand.
In reality, that’s often not what’s happening at all, and the truth is that people are different, problems are different, and what works brilliantly for one person doesn’t always work for somebody else. With that in mind, keep reading to find out what to do when the usual advice isn’t working.

Stop Assuming You’ve Failed
One of the first things people do when advice doesn’t work is assume they’ve somehow done it wrong – perhaps they tried meditation and couldn’t switch their thoughts off, or maybe they started exercising but didn’t notice the big improvement everyone seemed to promise, or perhaps they followed all the recommendations they could find and still didn’t feel particularly different afterwards.
It’s easy to look at those experiences and conclude that you’ve failed, but when you think about it, that’s a strange way of looking at the situation. After all, if one approach doesn’t help, that doesn’t automatically mean there’s something wrong with you, and it might just mean that particular approach wasn’t the right fit for your situation, personality, or circumstances.
Question Generic Advice
The internet is full of advice designed to apply to as many people as possible, and that’s understandable because broad advice reaches broad audiences. Of course, the downside is that broad advice can sometimes become so general that it loses some (or all) of its usefulness.
For example, being told to reduce stress sounds sensible enough, but how exactly are you supposed to do that if the thing causing stress is something you can’t immediately change? Being told to think positively can sound helpful in theory, but it’s not always particularly practical when you’re dealing with something difficult.
That’s why it’s worth asking whether the advice you’re reading is actually specific enough to help with your particular situation because sometimes the issue isn’t that advice doesn’t work, it’s that the advice is too general to be useful.
Look Beyond The Obvious Solutions
When people are struggling with something, they tend to focus on the most commonly discussed solutions first because those are the approaches they’re most likely to come across, but the problem is that there are often way more options available than people realise.
For example, someone dealing with stress might benefit from talking therapies, coaching, lifestyle changes, support groups, relaxation techniques, or alternative approaches they hadn’t previously considered, and the same is true for confidence issues, fears, habits, anxiety, and many other challenges. That’s why keeping an open mind can be helpful because sometimes the thing that makes a difference isn’t the first solution you try, and it could be the fourth or fifth.
Pay Attention To Patterns
One thing that often gets overlooked is the importance of understanding what’s actually happening – people can become so focused on finding a solution that they skip over understanding the problem itself. For example, are there certain situations that make things worse? Are there particular triggers involved? Does the problem appear at specific times, around specific people, or under specific circumstances?
The more you understand about the pattern, the easier it becomes to identify approaches that might genuinely help, otherwise, you’re often just relying on guesswork.
Consider Getting Professional Support
There comes a point where searching for advice online can only take you so far, which isn’t necessarily because online information is useless, but because general advice can never completely understand your individual circumstances.
So sometimes it helps to speak with someone whose job is to work with people facing similar challenges every day because they might spot things you’ve overlooked or suggest approaches you hadn’t considered. For example, some people choose to explore services such as Darren Carter hypnotherapy because they’re looking for a different way of approaching a problem after finding that more familiar strategies haven’t given them the results they hoped for.
In the end, the important thing isn’t necessarily which type of support you choose, and instead you’ll usually find that it’s recognising that asking help is definitely an option if you feel stuck.
Give New Approaches Time
At the same time, it’s worth remembering that not every solution produces instant results, which can be tricky because we live in a world where people often expect quick answers, quick fixes, and immediate improvements, but a lot of meaningful change takes longer than that.
The trouble is that people sometimes abandon an approach before they’ve given it a fair chance because they don’t see big results straight away. Now we’re not saying that doesn’t mean you should continue with something indefinitely if it clearly isn’t helping, but it does mean allowing enough time to properly work out if it’s making any difference.
Keep Looking For What Works For You
Perhaps the most important thing to remember is that you don’t need to force yourself into somebody else’s solution because what helps one person feel calmer, happier, more confident, or more motivated might do very little for someone else, and that’s perfectly normal. The point is, the goal isn’t to find the advice that works for everyone because that advice probably doesn’t exist – the goal is to find the approaches that work for you.
That might involve a bit of trial and error, and it might take longer than you’d like, but that doesn’t mean you’re doing anything wrong, it just means you’re still learning what works best for your particular situation, and sometimes that’s a process rather than a single breakthrough moment.
MindOwl Founder – My own struggles in life have led me to this path of understanding the human condition. I graduated with a bachelor’s degree in philosophy before completing a master’s degree in psychology at Regent’s University London. I then completed a postgraduate diploma in philosophical counselling before being trained in ACT (Acceptance and commitment therapy).
I’ve spent the last eight years studying the encounter of meditative practices with modern psychology.
